


Killing Me With Chemistry

by stars28



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21783367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars28/pseuds/stars28
Summary: Maybe Mark should be worried about how often he feels the need to dye his hair – it can't be good for it. (Oh, and maybe he should also be worried about how he seems to be falling in love with each of his friends?)
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Mark Tuan, Im Jaebum | JB/Mark Tuan, Kim Yugyeom/Mark Tuan, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Mark Tuan, Mark Tuan/Everyone, Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang, Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	Killing Me With Chemistry

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve really enjoyed writing this fic.
> 
> (We're going to ignore that it's taken me a year to post anything new, ok?)

_“You do something to me  
_ _That I can't explain away  
_ _You're killing me with chemistry  
_ _All these words in my head  
_ _That I probably shouldn't say…”  
_ **\- Chemistry, All Time Low.**

* * *

Mark wasn’t sure how his life became so complicated. All he knew was that somewhere in the past six months, he’d fallen in love with each of his friends and none of them had any idea. To explain properly he should probably go back to the beginning.

* * *

**Month 1: Red / Jinyoung.**

Mark wasn’t quite awake yet. It was too early in the morning. He had no idea why he ever thought that a 9AM lecture every Monday was a good idea. He groaned into the kitchen table which he was currently using as a pillow, albeit an incredibly uncomfortable one at that.

One by one, each of Mark’s roommates appeared in the kitchen. They all looked about as awake as he felt, that was to say, they all looked like they could go back to sleep within seconds given half a chance.

Mark watched silently, his head resting on one of his hands now, as they slowly woke up, teasing each other about how sleepy they looked.

By the time it was time for him to leave, Jinyoung was smiling softly at Yugyeom’s joke. Mark was amazed at how pretty Jinyoung looked when he smiled. That thought didn’t leave his head all day.

(-)

When Mark arrived home, it was to the shouts of his roommates.

“Hyung, your hair!” Jinyoung exclaimed, his eyes firmly fixed on Mark’s head.

Mark laughed, feeling incredibly awkward now that everyone was blatantly staring at his newly dyed red hair. It’d been a spur of the moment thing. He’d been walking past the hairdressers when he'd spotted the half-price sign for hair dyeing and absently found himself inside, requesting a change of hair colour. He wasn’t fully sure on what had prompted his sudden decision, but he did know that before he saw the sign, he’d been thinking about Jinyoung. If he was being completely honest with himself, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the younger all day.

“Yeah, it was an impulse choice.” He replied, smiling sheepishly at the floor and trying not to focus on the way Jinyoung’s eyes sparkled with joy.

“It looks good Mark hyung.” BamBam said, “Where’d you get it done?”

“That place past university, before our coffee shop.”

“I know where you mean!” Youngjae said, smiling.

(-)

That night, after everyone had gone to bed, Mark stayed in the living room, his feet resting on the couch and staring out aimlessly out of the large window which took up most of the wall. It showed him the city at night down below, with all the bustling cars on the roads. He sighed and ran his right hand though his hair. He wasn’t used to its new colour yet. He’d done a double take after his shower earlier in the evening when he’d seen himself in the mirror.

Mark didn’t know much, but one thing he did know was that his attraction to Jinyoung wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. Idly, he wondered why he’d suddenly noticed Jinyoung out of all his friends. Maybe it was how although Jinyoung seemed to not care about their friends, but he was actually one of the most caring friends Mark had. It was in subtle ways, such as after a long day at university for one of them, Jinyoung always made sure that their favourite snacks were available, and how he’d always notice if any of them were even slightly under the weather. Or maybe it was simpler than that; maybe it was just how fucking good Jinyoung looked that morning.

He had a feeling that only time would tell.

(-)

It had been three weeks since the first time he’d truly noticed Jinyoung and he now knew more than ever that it was love. He’d been unable to stop thinking about making Jinyoung happy and sometimes it carried over from his daydreams into reality and Mark would find himself at the nearby coffee shop, ordering what he knew to be Jinyoung’s favourite drink. The others always protested about the unfairness of the blatant favouritism, but Mark just ignored them, choosing to focus on how Jinyoung’s eyes lit up with gratefulness when he sipped on the drink instead. It made his heart fill with love for the younger.

* * *

**Month 2: Orange / BamBam.**

The red in Mark’s hair had almost faded out completely by the time he noticed BamBam. Of course, he still loved Jinyoung, but he noticed BamBam in the second month. They were in a club at the whims of the youngest three, who claimed that they were old and boring. Naturally, the elders took offence at that and demanded to go out, which Mark now suspected was the whole reasoning behind the youngest’s claims.

The music was so loud that it vibrated the floor and the lights were almost blinding if he looked directly at them. But he couldn’t deny that he wasn’t having a good time. It was nice to get away from the stress of university.

He had a drink in one hand, gradually sipping at it to allow the alcohol to start affecting his body and mind, and his eyes were focused on BamBam’s hips as they swayed from side to side. He didn’t think anyone else had noticed his fascination with certain parts of BamBam’s body; they were all drunk and otherwise occupied. From his position near the bar, he could see Jinyoung and Jaebum talking loudly with Yugyeom. He wasn’t going to lie – most of his attention was focused on BamBam and Youngjae, who were dancing near the edge of the dance floor.

Mark swallowed the last of his wine and placed the empty glass on the bar counter. He was intentionally not making his way over the dance floor. Why would he move when he could see every single move BamBam made from here? Besides, if he went over to BamBam, his attention would be shifted to Mark himself rather than on dancing. Which would be a shame because Mark was enjoying watching BamBam dancing like he was at the minute, holding his hands up in the air whilst swaying on his feet to the beat of the music. It was so unlike the choreography BamBam did on a regular basis, it may have well as been another country.

The sight was truly intoxicating to Mark and he couldn’t rip his eyes away from BamBam’s plush behind, nor did he want to.

(-)

Mark found himself sat in a hairdresser’s chair with a small hangover from last night, waiting patiently for the bleach to dye his hair. The same type of detachment as when he’d come here after falling for Jinyoung had taken over his body when he walked into the hairdresser’s. Except this time, his hair was going from a faded red to a brightly coloured orange. All he could think about was how BamBam would react, after receiving the compliment when it hadn’t even been BamBam who he’d coloured his hair for.

(-)

He couldn’t wipe the small smile off his face as his friends started yelling about his hair, BamBam among them. At least this time, he wasn’t as awkward being the centre of attention for a short while. He was also silently pleased that BamBam had been the first one to notice his dramatic hair change. It was the same feeling he’d felt when Jinyoung had commented on the first hair colour.

“Wow. It looks incredible!” BamBam said in awe.

Mark tilted his head and smiled at the floor at BamBam’s comment. Just knowing that the younger liked his hair made a blush start appearing on his face. He should leave before anyone noticed.

“Thanks BamBam.” He replied, straightening up from his position leant against the kitchen side, “I have a ton of work to do, so I’m gonna go.”

“But your hair’s so pretty hyung!” Jackson whined, pouting with Yugyeom and Youngjae.

“Yes, it is, but it won’t get me out of doing my work. Unfortunately.”

(-)

Once he was safely inside his bedroom, with the door firmly locked, Mark relaxed a little bit. He pushed his hair away from his eyes, thinking back to exactly how BamBam’s eyes had lit up when he’d seen Mark’s new hair for the first time. Even now, it sent a pleasant shiver down his spine. Mark walked over to his bed and flopped backwards onto it, sighing heavily. He thought back to BamBam dancing on the dance floor last night. It was the best thing he’d seen since Jinyoung laughing that morning a few weeks ago.

Mark twisted onto his front and groaned into his pillow. He was totally doomed if he liked both Jinyoung and BamBam. They were so different and yet here he was, liking both of them. Yeah, he was doomed.

(-)

Unlike with Jinyoung, it had taken about a week from noticing BamBam for Mark to start treating him with his favourite caramel coffees. He still purchased Jinyoung’s favourite drinks as well. He firmly didn’t think the state of his bank account whenever he stepped into the local coffee shop to buy the two drinks.

Seeing BamBam’s face light up with his beautiful smile every time Mark presented him with his drink made listening to the complaints of favouritism from the others much easier to deal with. The only one who didn’t complain was Jinyoung and that was probably because Mark brought him a drink as well.

* * *

**Month 3: Yellow / Youngjae.**

Youngjae was unexpected. And Mark was in no way prepared for the rush of affection that washed over him when he saw the younger laughing at a joke Jackson had just told. Of course, BamBam and Yugyeom were also laughing at the joke, but there was something about how Youngjae tipped his head back and opened his mouth wide in amusement that made Mark totally breathless.

He was in utter awe as Youngjae kept laughing, long after everyone else had stopped. He felt something stir in his chest, much like how he felt when he looked at Jinyoung and BamBam.

Mark wondered when his attraction towards his friends were going to stop.

(-)

When he walked into the hair salon, the hairdresser didn’t look that surprised to see Mark. She gestured at him to sit straight down in front of a mirror and started to comb all the tangles out of his month-old orange hair.

“What colour do you want it this time?” She asked, tilting her head to one side in the mirror.

“I’d like it yellow please.” Mark replied softly, thinking back to Youngjae’s bright laughter, “Yeah, yellow.”

“Ok! We can do that.”

(-)

He was more prepared for everyone’s reactions this time. After all, he’d been in the same situation twice before. It still felt uncomfortable being the centre of everyone’s attention, but it was more manageable now that his friends had become more used to his changing hair colour. He hadn’t told anyone why he kept changing hair colour; that would be a bit too honest for his liking.

“It looks really good hyung!” Youngjae said, smiling.

“T-thanks Youngjae.” He stuttered, desperately trying to avoid blushing because of Youngjae’s pretty, pretty smile. It would be unavoidably obviously to the rest of his friends, not to mention his other two crushes. Idly he wondered when he would stop gaining crushes on his friends would stop.

Oh no, he was wrong. So very wrong. He was still stupidly nervous when it was one of his crushes (AKA the reason he dyed his hair on a semi-regular basis) complimenting him.

(-)

One of the main things Mark had discovered he really liked about Youngjae was his ability to transform a relatively standard situation into a happy and memorable one. Take right now, all they were doing was having a movie night, but because of Youngjae, Mark was having the time of his life, covertly observing how Youngjae laughed at the comedy playing onscreen. He wished that he was exaggerating about it, but he wasn’t. Although, to him, any time spent in the company of one of his crushes was a good time. Time spent with all three of them was his idea of a perfect time.

(-)

It was a wonder that Mark’s debit card hadn’t been declined yet, considering how he was now buying three drinks at least twice a week – a caramel coffee for BamBam, a latte for Jinyoung and a lemon and ginger tea for Youngjae. Naturally, his other three friends complained, well Yugyeom and Jackson complained loudly while Jaebum just pouted silently whenever Mark entered their shared flat with three drinks.

“Thanks hyung!” Youngjae said brightly, taking a sip of his lemon and ginger tea.

Mark rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, replying, “It’s nothing.”

* * *

**Month 4: Green / Jackson.**

Mark was sat at the kitchen table, eating his late breakfast of cereal. He didn’t have a lecture until the afternoon fortunately. He watched silently as Jackson entered the kitchen with his eyes mostly closed. He became aware of Jackson being half-asleep when the younger walked into the kitchen counter.

“Jackson?”

“Mm-hm?” Jackson mumbled, clutching his foot.

“Why don’t you sit down, and I’ll make your breakfast?” Mark suggested, finishing his cereal and standing up, “You know, before you hurt yourself anymore?”

“Probably a good idea…”

Mark watched as Jackson slowly made his way to the table and sat down before starting to make his friend’s breakfast. He kept covertly glancing over at Jackson, whose head was resting against the table, and wondering why he couldn’t stop looking at him.

(-)

Mark was unsurprised to find himself daydreaming about Jackson all day when he really should have been paying attention to his lectures. He supposed he could get the notes from one of his classmates later. For now, all he could do was replay the moment when Jackson looked at him with half-closed eyes, looking so tender and precious. It had been on par with the way Jackson had said “thank you hyung” so fervently once Mark had places his simple breakfast of toast in front of him.

He had the strange feeling in his gut that he was going to end up in the hairdressers again.

(-)

“It’s too late to stop this habit of yours isn’t it?” Jaebum asked when he entered the flat, not looking at all shocked to find Mark with his new bright green hair, cuddling with Jackson and Yugyeom.

Rubbing the back of his head, Mark replied, “I’d say so yeah.”

“Just make sure you take care of your hair otherwise.” Jaebum said, shedding his coat and leaving it, “Your hair might fall out.”

At Jaebum’s comment, Jackson sat bolt upright - depriving Mark of his comfortable body warmth, much to his disgruntlement - and exclaimed, “Mark hyung! Don’t let your hair fall out! You wouldn’t look good bald!”

Mark furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he attempted to figure out if Jackson’s comment was a compliment or not. In the end, he decided that it was a compliment, even if it seemed as though it wasn’t.

(-)

Like clockwork, Mark found himself in the nearest coffeeshop to their flat, paying for drinks. Except this time, he was buying an extra drink; a healthy looking smoothie for Jackson. If his romantic attractions towards his friends continued like it was doing (he liked four out of his six friends now), he would have to figure out a new way to carry drinks. Four drinks was tough enough without adding another two.

He was sort of surprised that none of the workers in the coffeeshop had started to know his face and his order. But then he figured that maybe there were too many customers who ordered multiple things in one order, plus there were different baristas each time he went in.

* * *

**Month 5: Blue / Yugyeom.**

“Yugyeom, will you stop putting things that aren’t on our list in the basket?!” Mark said, already exasperated with the youngest. This was the fourth time since entering the supermarket.

Yugyeom just laughed and darted away from Mark’s threatening hand. Mark had to admit that Yugyeom had the advantage because he wasn’t holding the basket filled with their food. He could see himself getting very annoyed with the younger quickly if he didn’t come up with a way to distract Yugyeom soon. Next time he was bringing anyone other than the maknae.

Mark’s eyes widened when he saw the sign offering a buy one get one free offer on iced chocolate drinks. He decided to send Yugyeom for one to keep himself sane through the shopping trip.

“Hey Yugyeom,” He said, placing the basket on the tiled floor so he could search for his wallet, “Wanna go and get yourself an iced chocolate?”

Yugyeom squinted suspiciously at him, replying, “You’re only treating me to one because then I’ll be out of your way.”

“Since when do you turn down the offer of a free drink?”

“A good point.” The younger said, holding out a hand for the money.

Mark placed the basket on the floor and then retrieved his wallet from his pocket, almost dislodging his phone in the process. He handed some money to Yugyeom, enough to get them both a drink.

“Please remember to get me one Yugyeom?” He requested, bending down to pick the basket up.

“Sure!”

And with that, Yugyeom walked down the aisle and disappeared from sight. This distraction-free time allowed Mark to first remove all the things Yugyeom had placed in the basket and then continue finding the food that was on the list Jinyoung had given him. He may have been a little distracted when Jinyoung had pressed the list into his hands. That had mainly been because Jinyoung hadn’t been properly awake, making him even more adorable than usual. The only reason Yugyeom had been roped into coming with him was because no one else had been awake and Mark needed someone else to help carry the bags, so he’d taken Yugyeom as he’d been the only other person awake. Having said that though, Mark was finding the maknae good company, despite him putting things that weren’t needed in the basket. Maybe he could buy him one thing that wasn’t on Jinyoung’s meticulously ordered list, as a treat.

About twenty minutes later, Mark was in the bread aisle, searching the bread that Jinyoung had specifically wrote down on the list. He didn’t want to know what would happen to him if he couldn’t buy the bread. Ah ha! There it was, on the bottom shelf. He bent down and grabbed the loaf to put in the basket.

There was a slurping sound from behind him and then Yugyeom’s voice saying, “Hyung, this is fantastic.”

“Hey Yugyeom,” Mark replied, looking back at him and spotting the second iced chocolate in his friend’s other hand, “I see you remembered to buy my drink.”

Yugyeom laughed, “Of course I did. I would never forget something like that.”

“Thanks!”

His friend took another sip of his iced chocolate drink and smiled like a little kid who’d got ice cream. Mark thought that, in that moment, he would do anything to make Yugyeom smile like that every day for the rest of his life.

(Oh no. Not again.)

(-)

It didn’t take Mark long to dye his hair because of Yugyeom. Similarly, it didn’t take his friends long to notice the hair colour change. Although that could have been due to the change from a faded green to a bright, bright blue. He wasn’t going to admit it, but it was much brighter than what he’d expected. The hairdresser had laughed when he’d stared in disbelief at the change in colour. He knew the colour would fade, but it was still a shock.

“Wow!” Yugyeom said, staring from his position upside down on the couch, “That’s awesome!”

“Thanks.” He replied, dropping his bag on the floor next to the couch and sitting down next to Yugyeom, “What’ve you been up to?”

“Not much, mainly just laying here.”

Mark laughed softly at Yugyeom’s antics, or more precisely, the lack of them before replying, “Is that it?”

“Yep. It’s been nice.”

“Don’t you have uni work to be doing?” He asked, tilting his head so he could look Yugyeom in the eye.

Instead of responding verbally, Yugyeom reached up and put a long, slim finger over Mark’s lips.

“Oh, ok. You’re just ignoring your work. Smart.”

(-)

It was over dinner that night, as Mark was laughing at the joke Jackson had just told, when he was confronted by BamBam.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah Bammie?”

Somewhere in the past couple of months, Mark had picked up the habit of calling the younger by a nickname. He hoped that none of his other friends noticed.

“This is the fifth time in five months that you’ve dyed your hair.”

Mark focused on BamBam, taking a brief moment to admire the structure of BamBam’s face, and said, “What’s your point?”

“I want to know if there’s a reason behind it.” BamBam elaborated, waving his chopsticks around to emphasise his point.

He almost choked on the mouthful of rice he’d put in his mouth, suddenly conscious of how everyone was quiet and staring at him. It felt similar to the first time he’d dyed his hair and come home. Of fucking course there was a reason - he changed hair colours whenever he fell in love with another one of his friends - but there was no way he was telling them that. He swallowed and then attempted to explain.

“It’s just because I feel like it and after a month, my hair’s faded anyway, so why not change my hair colour?”

(-)

Mark struggled to keep all the drinks upright on his way home, nearly dropping Yugyeom’s chocolate frappuccino multiple times. He was going to have a bigger problem when he eventually moved onto Jaebum as well. When he finally got back, he was relieved to find that Yugyeom was just entering the flat.

“Hey Yugyeom!” He called, hoping that the maknae would hear him and hold the door open.

Yugyeom turned and then paused halfway through unlocking the door. He said, gesturing at the drinks Mark was holding, “Hey hyung, why have you got all those?”

Mark saw the opportunity to lessen his load a bit, passing Yugyeom his chocolate frappuccino over with a smile. “Here, you can have this one.”

“My favourite!”

He chucked at the sheer happiness on the younger’s face, glad to have pleased him. After Yugyeom had taken his drink, Mark continued into the flat with Yugyeom at his heels.

“Hyung, I’m curious.” Yugyeom took a sip of his frappuccino, “Why do you keep buying us drinks and not Jaebum hyung?”

Mark blinked slowly, balancing with the drinks in one hand as he slid his trainers off one by one, as he tried to find a reason plausible enough to keep Yugyeom from asking anymore whilst not giving away his infatuation with everyone else. He couldn’t mention that he suspected that Jaebum was the final one in their friendship group who he had yet to fall for.

“That’s a good point! I’ll buy Jaebum one next time.”

Fortunately for Mark, Yugyeom seemed satisfied with that answer and left to go to his bedroom.

* * *

**Month 6: Indigo / Jaebum.**

Mark wanted to laugh hysterically when he realised that he liked Jaebum. He just had to like every single one of his friends romantically. It was like he’s cursed or something, but in the best way. He had no complaints, well other than all his money was being spent on drinks for the six of them. But that was a minor thing, he could deal with that if it meant that he could see the grateful smiles on each friend’s face.

(-)

He was relaxing on the couch, idly listening to the chaos happening in the kitchen. For once, he’d done all his university work before the weekend, so he didn’t feel guilty about just relaxing for two days straight. In all honesty, it was worth pulling a few late nights to frantically complete the required reading for his papers.

“What’s going on next door?” Youngjae asked from where he was sat on the floor, completing some of his university work on the coffee table. Unlike Mark, Youngjae still had a few pieces of work to complete before Monday.

“No idea,” Mark replied, pressing himself further into the couch, “But I suspect we’ll find out in a few seconds.”

He heard footsteps getting progressively closer until the living room door slammed open, making Youngjae jump and drop his pen under the coffee table. Yugyeom and BamBam bolted to Mark and he found himself underneath the two youngest.

Mark laughed breathlessly, “What’ve you done now?”

Before either BamBam or Yugyeom could answer, Jaebum stormed into the room, followed by Jinyoung. They were both covered in feathers.

“BamBam! Yugyeom!” Jaebum said, sternly, despite the feathers in his hair and across his shoulders, “Why must you always pull pranks on us at the weekend?”

Mark could feel the suppressed laughter from Yugyeom and BamBam, and did his best not to join in, biting his lips in a desperate attempt to not laugh. Jaebum and Jinyoung looked so silly with feathers all over them. Jinyoung was trying to brush them off his shoulders, but the feathers kept getting struck between his fingers. Yugyeom snorted at the sight.

“Cause it’s funny.” BamBam replied, letting a laugh out.

Mark glanced at Youngjae to find the younger staring with wide eyes and a gaping mouth at Jinyoung and Jaebum. He thought that Youngjae looked adorable when he was confused.

“No. It is not.” Jinyoung said, still attempting to get rid of the feathers.

Youngjae laughed loudly, tilting his head back as he did so, and then said, “Sorry, but it kind of is hyung.”

“No it’s not,” Jaebum said sternly, looking at the two youngest, who were still on top of Mark, “At least when it’s with something as hard to clean up as feathers.”

Yugyeom fell onto the carpet, complaining, “BamBam! Why’d you push me off?”

BamBam giggled (fuck, if that wasn’t the cutest thing ever, then Mark was an idol) and said, “It’s funny.”

Before the youngest of the two could launch himself at BamBam, Jaebum cleared his throat, instantly getting everyone’s attention.

“I have a better idea: you two can clean up the feathers you’ve spread across this entire flat while we,” He pointed a finger at himself and Jinyoung, “Have a shower.”

“But hyung…” Yugyeom whined, pouting sadly.

Jaebum raised an eyebrow, “You should’ve thought about that before you did the prank.”

As Jinyoung and Jaebum left to undoubtably have a shower, BamBam groaned and rolled off Mark, straight onto Yugyeom, who flailed, his arms and long legs going all over the place.

Mark laughed again at the annoyed face Yugyeom made because of BamBam.

(-)

As Mark was trying to fall asleep that night, he thought over the day, thinking what had occurred. He still didn’t quite believe that BamBam and Yugyeom had been able to successfully prank Jaebum and lived to tell the tale. Then again, he had been completely distracted at the way Jaebum had dealt with their two youngest friends.

Witnessing Jaebum be so stern, yet loving with the two youngest had Mark thinking about other times when he’d had to discipline them. There’d been the time when all of them except Jaebum had decided to go out on a night out. They’d come in late at night - near midnight, if he recalled correctly - and they’d only got as far as the living room before Jaebum switched on the lights, nearly blinding them all. Jaebum had sternly asked what they were doing, but once he was done informing them of their punishments for the following day, he did then help them all to bed.

He drifted off to sleep, glad that he only had six friends to fall hopelessly for.

(-)

Mark had been to the coffeeshop again, after visiting the hairdresser's to have his hair dyed a gorgeous indigo colour. He thought that this colour represented his love for Jaebum perfectly, although no one else knew the true reason. There was another addition to his list of drinks to buy; Jaebum’s favourite strawberry milk. Other customers at the coffeeshop had looked at him like he was mad, trying to juggle all six drinks at once in two hands. He decided that he needed to find a better way of carrying them.

“Hyung! You brought Jaebum hyung a drink!” Yugyeom said, "And you've dyed your hair!"

He laughed as Yugyeom took his chocolate frappuccino off him and replied, “Yeah I did.”

Mark wasn’t going to tell the youngest the reason behind that though. Instead of focusing too much on that thought, he distributed the drinks to their rightful owners.

Seeing Jaebum’s grateful face as he sucked the milkshake up the straw made, in Mark’s extremely biased opinion, carrying all six drinks worth it.

No one mentioned his new hair colour, which Mark found a bit disappointing, but then again he supposed this was the sixth time in as many months that he'd done it. His friends were used to him changing his hair colour seemingly randomly.

* * *

**Month 7: Violet / Himself.**

It took Mark six full months to realise that if he could love all six of his friends, maybe he could begin to love himself as well. He had a feeling this might be the most difficult thing to fulfil. But he was willing to try.

(-)

He began by spending some time away from the flat and the people it contained. Fortunately, this decision seemed to coincide with some big and important deadlines on his course, so Mark thought that he was ‘getting away with it’. This wasn’t easy for Mark, because he always felt most comfortable around the people he loved - not that they knew that - but if he wanted to get used to loving himself he needed to spend some time himself, with no distractions from either Yugyeom, Youngjae or BamBam.

Mark spent a whole day in the university library, doing the majority of the reading required for his paper. He switched his phone off because he really did need to do this work and if he didn’t, then one of his friends would text him and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from responding. What could he say? He had a serious weakness for each of his friends, as demonstrated by how easily he went from friendship to love, at least on his part. He knew that none of his friends loved him the exact way he loved them. But just knowing that they loved him in friend sort of way made him feel a bit better.

(-)

Even though he intentionally going out of his way to spend time by himself, Mark still found himself at the coffeeshop, buying drinks for everyone. There was a difference this time; he stayed in a coffeeshop for a period of time, drinking his own drink, a black tea. Maybe it wasn’t as exciting as some of his friends’ favourite drinks but he liked it and that was enough for him.

By the end of the month, he’d gotten fed up with his current faded indigo hair colour that no one had noticed. (He had to convince himself that the lack of response didn’t hurt him, which was almost definitely a sign that it did.) Maybe if he tried dyeing it a different, more vibrant colour, someone would notice. He didn’t really mind who, just one of his friends would suffice.

(-)

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Violet is the colour I’d like.”

“It’s going to be very bright.”

Mark nodded his head firmly, not allowing himself to be dissuaded from his choice, “That’s the idea.”

(-)

When he went back to the flat, Mark really hoped that someone noticed his hair because he wasn’t sure what would happen if they didn’t. (He would start crying, he knew it, but didn’t want to admit it. It was too embarrassing.)

He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for a lack of response, before opening the front door with his key and entering. He removed his shoes and then hovered in the living room doorway, not wanting attract any attention before he was ready.

But Mark didn’t get that luxury when Youngjae turned around and spotted him.

“Hyung!” Youngjae exclaimed.

He smiled, still feeling somewhat nervous as he stepped into the living room. Mark could see the moment when everyone noticed his new hair because everyone started saying things, or in Jackson’s, Yugyeom’s and BamBam’s case, started yelling things.

“Mark hyung!” Jinyoung said, shock written all over his face as he stood up from the couch and walked over towards Mark, “Why are you crying?”

Mark blinked and realised that, yes, he was crying over them noticing his new hair. It felt so nice, but fucking typical. He’d started crying because they noticed his hair colour, not because they didn’t notice. He wiped at his face, whilst attempting to stop the steady flow of tears. He leant into Jinyoung’s comforting embrace, trying not to think of how he’d be rejected when they knew about his feelings for each of them.

“N-no reason.” He stuttered, avoiding everyone’s eyes by looking at the floor. It didn’t help that everyone looked so attractive when they were just chilling out after university, no where else to be, but his friends didn't know that.

“Mark hyung, there must be something happening with you, because this is the seventh hair colour we’ve seen on you in seven months.” Jinyoung said, rubbing Mark’s back, “Please tell us what’s going on?”

And _shit_. How was Mark meant to refuse a query like that? When Jinyoung was comforting him so nicely and looking so pretty? The answer: he wasn’t going to. He was going to be brave for once and tell them all how he felt, despite the amount of (necessary) fear coursing through his body.

“I - I need to tell you all something.”

“So there is something going on!” Jackson said loudly.

“Yes.” Mark admitted quietly, as he followed Jinyoung's gentle hand over to the couch and sat down in between Jinyoung and Youngjae, with Yugyeom leaning against his legs, “There is."

Immediately, Jaebum asked seriously, “What is it?”

“Well. Uh…” He paused, because how on earth does he begin to explain how much he loved them all? His fingers dug into his thighs unconsciously, wondering if this was such a good idea after all. “The thing is…I’m in love with you.”

“Me?" Jaebum said, a perplexed expression on his face.

“No. Uh, more like all of you?” He said quickly and squeezed his eyes shut to hide himself from their reactions.

“All of us?” Yugyeom questioned.

Mark gulped, “Yes. I’m sorry. It’s - it’s why I’ve been dying my hair and buying you all drinks.”

“I knew something was going on!” BamBam yelled.

He flinched, feeling even more on show than he had before he entered the room, “Yes, there was. And I think I just need to go and lie down somewhere.”

Jaebum frowned, obviously concerned, “Why?”

Mark waved a hand vaguely, "Just uh…feeling a little panicky. So I’m gonna go.”

He got up, stepping carefully over Yugyeom and fleeing the living room for the relatively safety of his bedroom.

(-)

It was an undetermined time later when Mark heard a tentative knock on his door. He mumbled into his pillow, “Come in.”

The person outside must’ve heard him because the door creaked open. There were footsteps and then a weight at the bottom of his bed.

“Hey Mark hyung.”

“BamBam.” Mark said. He was feeling much less panicky now that he’d had time to calm down.

“So - you love all of us.” BamBam stated, “I - _we_ \- were surprised. We knew something was going on, but we didn’t think that it would be this big and important.”

“Well it is.”

“I just - why? Why do you love each of us?”

“Uhhh… There are so many reasons. Honestly, I’m not sure where to begin.” Mark lifted his head up off his pillow and twisted around so he was lying on his back. “With you, it was when we went to that club, and you were dancing. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

BamBam hummed.

“Does - does this mean that you don’t all hate me?” He stuttered. He felt hope swelling in his chest.

“Hate you? Why would we hate you?”

"B-because I love you. And that’s weird when you’re all my friends. And I love you. I just… don’t understand how you’re ok with this.”

BamBam placed a hand gently on Mark’s calf, “We’re your friends. We would never let you feel weird about anything.”

“Are you sure?” Mark said nervously

“Of course I am.” BamBam stood up off Mark’s bed, “Come on, let’s go to the living room. We’re having a sleepover.”

Mark let himself be persuaded out of his bedroom and into the living room, dragged gently by BamBam.

He couldn’t have better friends, he decided firmly, as he snuggled down next to Jackson, listening to everyone debate what film they should watch.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are love!


End file.
